Driving test

Sadly, Lucy did not pass her driving test today. I think I was more surprised, shocked and upset than she was. Apparently she was entering a particularly awkward roundabout, a van sped up behind her in her blind spot and the examiner had to apply the brakes in the dual-control instructor’s car: instant fail. But she only recorded four “minor” errors. We’ve re-booked her test for asap – which is two months away, in September, unless she can get a cancellation.

This afternoon we went looking in Juliet’s cupboard, in our bedroom, for a) larger clothes – fail – and b) the mysterious object she wants to give to Alice (see previous posts). What we did find was the “presents” box – a box of unwanted gifts that are unwrapped & unopened & which we recycle by giving to others. J is so organised. We also uncovered the “letters box “. This is  a box, I would say that once held a shirt, wrapped with a ribbon, containing letters that Juliet has written to family members. Obviously I knew about it, Lucy and Alice did not. What I hadn’t appreciated was the number and diversity of the letters. There must be about a dozen, for example, one for me to open “when considering a new relationship”, ones for the girls when they are pregnant or considering getting pregnant, one for me to open three months after her funeral, others addressed to parents and brothers immediately after her funeral. One for me when “dealing with a difficult problem with Lucy” and another “for Lucy when considering university choices” – so we could have opened the latter now.

This did not make me cry, so much as howl, I’m afraid. A Bad Day. The only consolation is that it’s a sort of dress rehearsal for when we do it for real. It kicked off when Lucy & I went searching for clothes, and we got some of J’s cardigans out of the jumpers box, and her pink cardigan smelt of her so much. You read about this sort of thing and all I can say is that it’s for real, the familar smell of her perfume makes you bawl.

I cleaned up the kitchen in double-quick time, then Margaret called in from visiting Juliet, reporting that J had seemed down at first, then better later. I went off to visit in the later afternoon, and found similar. The shopping visit is confirmed for tomorrow afternoon and a home visit for next week.

Yesterday I had read Sueby’s (Sue Kelly)’s schooldays memories to J, and like those of Jane’s, Juliet remembered some of them, not all of them. She laughed at some of them, such as the kid who stuck a crayon up his nose. It’s good to remind her of those happy carefree times.

Today we had long enough to talk about “us” and not just “what did you have for lunch” and “have you had any pain today?”. Like any woman, she is (now) vey concerned about her weight, and we need to reassure her on that i.e. it really doesn’t matter any more.

Left her in reasonably good spirits I think. Tonight I’ve been to the “boy’s film club” i.e. instead of going to the pub we watch a carefully-selected film on Rich Postill’s 40″ TV. The bar has been raised considerably, so tonight we had KFC-style home-cooked chicken & chips, and the film introduced by Ian G. The film was the 1972 “Deliverance” and an excellent choice. Myself, Ian, Scot, Rich, Graham and Andy. A few beers also… and Ian, Scot & myself stopped off at the Red Lion on the way home as well!

About hodders

Husband and proud father of two daughters. Now a widower. Trying to balance between not dwelling on Juliet's death, but telling the world how much I loved her. Tricky.
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