Flickering eyelids and more

Lucy and I visited Juliet this morning. The nurses were bathing her so we had a chat with Dr Richard. I asked him what the medical differences between a deep sleep, unconsciousness and a coma. He explained, but basically J is somewhere between the last two.

J and Susannah at Margaret's 60th party 15 Aug 1998

J and Susannah at Margaret's 60th party 15 Aug 1998

Nurse Andrea said that J had been in pain when they moved her but she’d had some sort of pain relief. Lucy & I got J’s eyelids to flicker when we called her name. Funny how uplifting that was, compared with yesterday I suppose. We only stayed a few minutes, I was on my way to the dentist and L to meet a friend in town. On the way out I met & introduced myself to a new doctor, David.

Heavy rain most of the day but I parked opposite the dentist’s. She sorted it all out pretty quickly, it was the opposite side of my tooth that had now cracked but her original filling was still intact. She patched that up – “it should be pretty quick, do you want anaethestic?” “No” said our hero and indeed it was OK. Cross fingers from both of us as to whether it lasts.

Visited a stationers to buy boxes & materials, for the storing of photos in. Fell asleep at home for most of the early afternoon; still sleeping badly at night. Then did some more photos & dates sorting.

By the way, thanks to those who have sent me me e-mails concerning this blog. You may be surprised – as I am – to know that there have been over 1,700 views to date, 111 views today and 189 views on the busiest day, 1 August. These figures don’t include my viewings!

My evening run started well, then faded. As I stopped after 4km, a police car pulled up to ask for directions in the village. I sent them short of their intended destination I now realize. Ah well, don’t they have sat-nav?

The above was written during the course of today. Have just returned from visiting J and saw a dramatic improvement, in that she could hold my hand, half-open her eyes and sometimes respond with a grunt to my conversation. All the while snoring with her mouth open. I also talked with one of the senior nurses, Claire about bereavment & counselling for twenty minutes or so, which I’m going to keep private, but it was helpful.

At last I do believe that a person in this unconscious state can hear and even understand. “Hearing is the last sense to go” say the nurses. So I talked to J for perhaps half an hour about all the events of the last few days, just so she could hear my voice. Eventually I realised she was no longer responding and so left her for the night. I’m very happy, relatively speaking.

About hodders

Husband and proud father of two daughters. Now a widower. Trying to balance between not dwelling on Juliet's death, but telling the world how much I loved her. Tricky.
This entry was posted in Blog, Cancer, Dentist, Hospice, Photos, Running. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Flickering eyelids and more

  1. Keep up your strength, love. My love and thoughts are with you all. Love, Mum xxxx

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