The first of many

Awake at 4am, read for a couple of hours and had a cup of tea. In retrospect, reading the end of John Le Mesurier’s biography, about his death and memorial service probably wasn’t a great idea.

Had stupidly been dreading today – Sunday, a week since Juliet died, the first of many such anniversaries. I got terribly upset after midday, and phoned Margaret, we got upset together over the phone while the girls brought me tissues. Someone said recently “it won’t really hit you until a few weeks time”. Rubbish, it hits you from the moment she dies and keeps hurting, a week later, much, much more than I ever thought it would.

J opening wedding gifts, Aug 1988

J opening wedding gifts, Aug 1988

There was a pleasant interlude where I took Alice to a couple of garden centres. We bought some hay, wood shavings and a hay house specially made for guinea pigs. Mowed the back garden when I get home, that also helped.

More admin – DVLA and started looking into Probate. A minefield – and Juliet had made a will. Rewrote Juliet’s euology in the first person, added a few more anecdotes and practised reading it, several times. Drew a “mind-map” (spider diagram) of Juliet’s relationship to family, friends, neighbours etc. This for the benefit of the funeral celebrant but also an interesting exercise in itself. This led to me digging up some names from J’s old diaries and address books. In the evening I rang at least four former neighbours, some of whom we haven’t been in touch with for several years, and gave them the news. Of course they were shocked – none even knew she was ill. As I explained, I’d rather they heard the news from me directly, rather than in passing, in months or even years’ time. Draining. Had a shower and watched a couple of Friends episodes with the girls.

Since I’m baring all, let’s finish with a silly photo of me. I believe it was Billy Connolly who said “Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn’t try it on”.  This is a photo of me & J opening our wedding presents, on return from our honeymoon in August 1988. There is a penguin tea cosy on my head, although we are not alone.

Man with tea cosy on head

Man with tea cosy on head

About hodders

Husband and proud father of two daughters. Now a widower. Trying to balance between not dwelling on Juliet's death, but telling the world how much I loved her. Tricky.
This entry was posted in Administration, Books, Cancer, Diaries, Funeral, Guinea pigs. Bookmark the permalink.

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