Back at work

In these days of online and remote working, “back at work” can simply mean changing my voicemail message, disabling the out-of-office auto-reply and starting to work through the 437 new emails received during my month off work. That’s actually a very low figure by my normal standards – it has been August and people haven’t been involving me on bids, customer projects and so forth.

My desk is a mess of papers, post-it notes, CDs and stationery.

Messy desk

Messy desk

Moving things out of the way, I just found several car park tickets that J had saved because they had Pizza Express discounts on the back. They are hopelessly out of date and I was just about to chuck them in the bin when I realized that the date and time stamps on the ticket tell me what J was doing at the time. Massively upsetting, like finding a diary entry. Margaret phoned at that moment and during the ensuing conversation I realized that many of the tickets could be from my trips or their trips to the car park without J. But it’s another example of the “timebombs” that lie around the house just waiting to jump out and say “Aha! This’ll make you cry!!”

back to work…

…Later. I did do some work, honest and I have a meeting/presentation to prepare for with a City customer in London on Thursday. But I did also further sort out some of J’s online store cards. It was the modern equivalent of finding coins down the back of the sofa. I’m at £6.83 so far, with the largest amount being £2.39 on a Boots gift card. Slightly depressed at the trivial detritus left in the hyperspace world.

J passport photo maybe 2009 or 10

J passport photo maybe 2008 or 09

Usual Dads Cabs Tuesday evening. Tesco and a quick pint while Alice went to TKD (It’s been two weeks since I last ran). I’ve found a remarkably similar and poignant blog by dutchcloggie called BunnyFactor10. I’m not going to link to it, you’ll find your own way there if your curiousity is sufficiently aroused. Read several posts – her experiences are a few months ahead of mine – and kept thinking “yes! that’s exactly how it feels”. I’d bookmarked it while J was alive but I had too much going on to read it then. She has commented on some of my posts, so I guess we are on the same wavelength.

While waiting for A in the car I discovered several photos of J on my iPhone that I hadn’t realised were there (thanks a bunch Dropbox). Bit of a shock, I suppose it will be a pleasant one in time, but it was not this evening. Not the photo above, I don’t yet know exactly when or why that was taken but it will probably come to light. Maybe for her driving licence. Anyway – I like that photo very much.

About hodders

Husband and proud father of two daughters. Now a widower. Trying to balance between not dwelling on Juliet's death, but telling the world how much I loved her. Tricky.
This entry was posted in Administration, Blog, Photos, Timebombs. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Back at work

  1. Dutchcloggie says:

    Glad you found my blog some sort of consolation. Reading through your posts brought back so many memories of Jane’s last days in the hospice and the days that followed.
    I can so relate to those little timebombs. Stuff you think has no value until some relatively random thought crosses your mind and then all of a sudden, small items create this massive wave of painful memories.


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