And then there were two

To York and back today, to take Lucy to university – and to leave her there of course. She has been waiting for so long these last few weeks, all her friends have started their respective colleges and have been posting pictures of their rooms, freshers’ weeks, new friends and so forth. York seems to start later than any other institution; the winter term is only ten weeks.

Lucy did pass her driving test on her 3rd attempt last week (Oct 6th), whew, that’s out of the way. While we’re on catch-up, I had a civilized discussion with someone from the East Grinstead Courier & Observer responsible for the obituary notices (see this previous post). She agreed that the policy of including religious clip-art at random among obituary notices should be more carefully controlled and offered to refund the obituary fee (£92) but I suggested the paper make a donation to Katherine House of an amount of their choosing. In other news, I have started an evening class – the works and influence of George Orwell – I know you were wondering. I wanted to use a different part of my brain (the non-IT part). Good so far.

In case the blog becomes an extended version of one of those Christmas “round robin” letters I’ll stop there, and try to return to life post-Juliet.  Our neighbours are still extremely kind, in just a naturally kind sort of way. The admin is pretty much done, the probate came through and I have swiftly sent copies away to try & release the remaining funds that were in J’s sole name. Last weekend I did something I don’t think I have ever done in my life – I bought some flowers. For myself. Well, I had got used to having flowers around the house, they cheer up the room, and some pinky-red carnations were less than the cost of a pint. And I figure that if I can be manly enough to confess to crying, I can acknowledge that buying flowers for myself is OK. I don’t think I’ll make a habit of it, mind.

Work is still difficult for me, I’m completely unmotivated, will have a discussion with my boss tomorrow. The timebombs still go off – last night we watched a DVD (“The King’s Speech”) on our new TV.  Juliet was never very keen for us to get a “large” TV, but to be honest I never had the time to organise getting one while she was ill, and she would have liked the modern sharp HD picture.  TKS  was the last film at the cinema that J and I watched together – and what an excellent film it is – but that thought at the beginning of last night’s viewing brought on a sudden spate of tears from me.

Similarly today, although the issue this afternoon was the separation of Lucy and Alice, they could hardly bear to stop hugging each other in the car park at the university. Both were in tears, and that set me off. We think that the most time they’ve had apart from each other is  perhaps 4 or 5 days on school adventure holiday trips.

My heart sank when I saw Lucy’s room (cell) at the college.

Basic room

Basic room

It wasn’t too bad really, I’ve seen much worse, with a bed, table & chair, sink and built-in cupboards and, er, that’s it. It looked much better once she’d got a few posters up and made up her bed. I was pleased to see that a home-made publication “Mum’s Marvellous Meals” accompanied her.

Mum's Marvellous Meals

Mum's Marvellous Meals

 

 

 

 

 

This was a joint venture between J and the girls – simply a list of meals the girls could make, with recipes and pictures. They all fussed about it, it became something of a slog, the end result is unbound, there are not very many meals and not all the pictures are there. But you know, it made it to uni along with Lucy, and it will serve its purpose, and that’s all that matters. I had not seen the picture of J in a chef’s outfit before. It was taken on 23 Jan this year. She looks painfully thin, it’s before the medication started to bloat her.

Workspace

Workspace

Storage

Storage

Bed

Bed

Alice and I drove the long drive home, neither of us said much. We fed the GPs, Alice “cooked” us a couple of fried cheese sandwiches (oh the shame, where’s our copy of M’sMMs?) and I went round drawing curtains and switching on lights because the house seemed very big and very cheerless.

About hodders

Husband and proud father of two daughters. Now a widower. Trying to balance between not dwelling on Juliet's death, but telling the world how much I loved her. Tricky.
This entry was posted in Administration, Blog, Cancer, Cooking, Guinea pigs, Photos, Timebombs. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to And then there were two

  1. Danny Tanner says:

    I just stumbled on your blog. I too am a widower, lost my wife to cancer last year. She was 39. I have three daughters – a few years younger than yours I think. I dread the college drop off. Not sure how I’ll do it without Lisa. But I guess we learn to manage.

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  2. hodders says:

    Thanks Danny, have sent you a few links to some other blogs that helped me.

    Like

  3. Andreas Sarker says:

    Simon, the furnishings in Lucy’s room look very similar to our first-year accommodation at Hiatt Baker. She has more light than I recall, though, and of course the idea is to spend as little time as possible in the ‘cell.’ I hope she settles in quickly and enjoys her new experiences.

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    • hodders says:

      Quite so Andreas, and she does appear to be settling in quickly. The rooms at HB were a little longer, but the cupboards and sink unit are much the same. All part of the student experience of course.

      Like

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