To York and back today, to take Lucy to university – and to leave her there of course. She has been waiting for so long these last few weeks, all her friends have started their respective colleges and have been posting pictures of their rooms, freshers’ weeks, new friends and so forth. York seems to start later than any other institution; the winter term is only ten weeks.
Lucy did pass her driving test on her 3rd attempt last week (Oct 6th), whew, that’s out of the way. While we’re on catch-up, I had a civilized discussion with someone from the East Grinstead Courier & Observer responsible for the obituary notices (see this previous post). She agreed that the policy of including religious clip-art at random among obituary notices should be more carefully controlled and offered to refund the obituary fee (£92) but I suggested the paper make a donation to Katherine House of an amount of their choosing. In other news, I have started an evening class – the works and influence of George Orwell – I know you were wondering. I wanted to use a different part of my brain (the non-IT part). Good so far.
In case the blog becomes an extended version of one of those Christmas “round robin” letters I’ll stop there, and try to return to life post-Juliet. Our neighbours are still extremely kind, in just a naturally kind sort of way. The admin is pretty much done, the probate came through and I have swiftly sent copies away to try & release the remaining funds that were in J’s sole name. Last weekend I did something I don’t think I have ever done in my life – I bought some flowers. For myself. Well, I had got used to having flowers around the house, they cheer up the room, and some pinky-red carnations were less than the cost of a pint. And I figure that if I can be manly enough to confess to crying, I can acknowledge that buying flowers for myself is OK. I don’t think I’ll make a habit of it, mind.
Work is still difficult for me, I’m completely unmotivated, will have a discussion with my boss tomorrow. The timebombs still go off – last night we watched a DVD (“The King’s Speech”) on our new TV. Juliet was never very keen for us to get a “large” TV, but to be honest I never had the time to organise getting one while she was ill, and she would have liked the modern sharp HD picture. TKS was the last film at the cinema that J and I watched together – and what an excellent film it is – but that thought at the beginning of last night’s viewing brought on a sudden spate of tears from me.
Similarly today, although the issue this afternoon was the separation of Lucy and Alice, they could hardly bear to stop hugging each other in the car park at the university. Both were in tears, and that set me off. We think that the most time they’ve had apart from each other is perhaps 4 or 5 days on school adventure holiday trips.
My heart sank when I saw Lucy’s room (cell) at the college.
It wasn’t too bad really, I’ve seen much worse, with a bed, table & chair, sink and built-in cupboards and, er, that’s it. It looked much better once she’d got a few posters up and made up her bed. I was pleased to see that a home-made publication “Mum’s Marvellous Meals” accompanied her.
This was a joint venture between J and the girls – simply a list of meals the girls could make, with recipes and pictures. They all fussed about it, it became something of a slog, the end result is unbound, there are not very many meals and not all the pictures are there. But you know, it made it to uni along with Lucy, and it will serve its purpose, and that’s all that matters. I had not seen the picture of J in a chef’s outfit before. It was taken on 23 Jan this year. She looks painfully thin, it’s before the medication started to bloat her.
Alice and I drove the long drive home, neither of us said much. We fed the GPs, Alice “cooked” us a couple of fried cheese sandwiches (oh the shame, where’s our copy of M’sMMs?) and I went round drawing curtains and switching on lights because the house seemed very big and very cheerless.