It’s a year to the day that Juliet entered the hospice. Here’s an extract from an email I wrote that evening:
“Juliet was admitted to the local hospice this afternoon, a relief for us all.
She had a long talk & examination from their own doctor and one of the nurses.
It’s likely she’ll be in there for at least five days, to give them time to sort out her pain management, something we’ve failed to do.
They have terrific facilities and a nurse to patient ratio of 2:1. ”
I did genuinely did think it would only be a temporary measure, but in retrospect, how naive I was. Although the staff did indeed sort out the pain management effectively, she went downhill pretty swiftly from then on, lasting just over six weeks. I started this blog two and half weeks into that time.
There are lots of anniversaries I could recall, but haven’t done so, the date of her first admission into hospital, her treatment dates and so on. I do have a large folder of all the medical records, letters and so on, if I need them. But it’s a sad read – which is how I describe this blog on my Twitter profile. Better to recall the happy days.
The next time I will update this blog will probably be on or after the anniversary of her death, 7 August. I did read a useful post somewhere that said words to the effect of: “although it’s just another day… it isn’t. Accept that you will feel bad and deal with it.” So I’ve booked the day off work and vaguely plan to spend the day doing something that J would have liked, perhaps with her parents if they are willing. It might be something as mundane as lunch and a garden centre. Don’t know yet. But it’s only six weeks away.
For those that are curious – I am happier these days, certainly more so than say at the beginning of this year. The new relationship is still going strong after many months, even though there have been many rocky moments. That’s as much information as I’ll give since this blog is about me, Juliet and our family, and no-one else.